The Beginning

This is the beginning. However, I am not quite sure where to begin. To be honest... I am not sure of beginning to blog at all. Then why start? Well, about this time last year I went to a Women of Faith -One Day conference with some women in my Bible Study. It was at that conference, sitting in that auditorium's extremely uncomfortable chair; I felt a pulling in my very core. It was as if my all-so comfortable life was being challenged. I know that many of my friends on Facebook, or even friends in general, may not have the same religious opinions or values as I do, and my intention is not to turn you away from my writing ... so hang with me. I felt God, yes God tugging on my heart to do more. You see, I have been in a process of healing from some very, very deep wounds over the last 10 years. That is over a third of my life! The past few years I have experienced freedom from those wounds. Freedom so indescribable it is as if I was in bondage before! Like I can breathe again. Like my lungs were never really full until I breathed in this freedom! So as you can imagine, this tugging on my heart telling me to do more with my story wasn't easy. I knew in my heart I was being asked to break out from my comfort zone and be extremely transparent . . . to share my healing. I remember sitting in that seat and hearing Christine Caine speak and it was like the words coming out of her mouth were words I already knew deep inside me. I knew I was healed! I was healed from sexual abuse... but on the contrary so many others weren't. My heart started to hurt. I started to think of my life and the different path it would have taken had I not been healed. It was in that moment all I could visualize was a stage and I was on the wrong side of it. I wasn't supposed to sit and take in I was supposed to stand, take a stand, and give out. Does that make any sense? Yes, it has taken me a year to do this. There are many reasons why. Mainly selfish reasons like: I've been healed I don't want to go back and relive it. Or I don't want to use names of the sexual predator's which may hurt their family etc. Or being vulnerable out on the www about my life almost feels like putting a sign above my head that says "Judge Me". That my non-Christian friends will place me in the box with all the other jerk-nut judgmental 'Christians' for sharing what my God has done for my life... The list could go on... and on... You see? It's so uncomfortable. Here is the real deal. This blog will not JUST be about my healing. It will be about my life, about my faith walk, and truth be told- I am not quite sure what it will all look like. I promise to be me and be real. I just know that I had to take this first step of obedience to the beginning...